Answers with an Agenda 4- Lube

Am I actually on the fourth one of these? Really? Damn time flies. Anyway, for this week, I’m going to cover something very basic, very important, and useful for all kinds of fun sexual activity.

What kind of lube should I use?

Well, it depends on what you are doing, what you want, and a lot is just plain personal preference. So experiment! Try different lubes! I’d recommend looking at places like Babeland, Good Vibrations, Fascinations, A Woman’s Touch, Sugar, Early to Bed, Smitten Kitten, and other such sex positive places.

I’m writing this entry, because sex is messy and fun, and frankly, I want more of this:

And less of this:

No matter how pretty the desert is, not exactly what is best for maintaining your fun and your body’s health.

Water-Based Lube:

Most of the lubes you find in the drugstore fall under this category, but not all water based lubes are made the same. If you are someone who owns a cunt, watch out for water based lubes with glycerine (a type of sugar.) Sugar + cunt = yeast infections. Or at least, an increased risk for them. For people prone to yeast infections, avoid lubes with glycerine in it (such as most KY, Astroglide, and a lot of flavored lubes.) Another thing to be careful about is whether or not there are parabens in the lube, which beyond having some potential carcinogenic properties, some people are allergic to them. And most people don’t want an allergic reaction when you’re getting down, do you?

Now, for more fun discussions. Water based lube is great for playing with cunts, and often for anal play as well. But, as is obvious above, not all water based lubes are made equal, so what you use is based in part on what you’re doing and what you like. For instance, if you’re going down on someone maybe you are looking for a glycerine free, flavored lube (that is actually a vegan, gluten-free, glycerine and paraben-free lube. Try it, S will testify to it being tasty.)

Regardless, there are two key things I’d say to think about with water based lube. 1- How thick do you want it? (sometimes thicker is better, sometimes you want something more light and slick.) 2- Do you want it to sink into your skin (and essentially moisturize) or to stay right at the spot you put it and stay slick? Moisturizing lubes are great for long-term health of the skin but sometimes you need the lube to stay right THERE.

For a thicker water based lube (which is great for anal play) try checking out Maximus. For a lube that moisturizes, and even will leave your cunt feeling better after than it did before, try Liquid Silk. If you’re avoiding chemicals like parabens, Sliquid Organics are often really good. Actually, I’m a big fan of just basic Sliquid H2O, which is also paraben free.

Silicone Based Lube:

If you are not playing with silicone condoms, dams, or toys, silicone lube may well be the way to go. The reason for this is that they melt the surface of silicone, or even a lot of other rubber materials, so be careful. It is totally safe though for latex (condoms, toys, or clothes.) They don’t use glycerine, so that is all happy.

Silicone lube is often prefered for anal play, because it tends to be thicker (and is still condom safe.) Even more important, silicone does not absorb into the skin, so it often lasts a lot longer than other lubes, while still being safe for condoms and gloves, and the thickness is nice. Some people can have reactions to silicone, and some people (like S) just aren’t very fond of it, so try it out and see what you think!

If you want to use lube that tastes good , silicone is not the way to go. Unlike a lot of water based lubes, silicone doesn’t taste that bad, but it also doesn’t have the delectable varieties of flavors out there. Unflavored, silicone aces. Tasty? Not so much.

Another time silicone is better flat out than water based lube is in a situation with water. If you are playing in water, water based lube will dissolve. Seems obvious maybe, but important. Generally be careful about playing in water, but if you are going to do it, and are going to use lube, use silicone. It will stay on much better.

I don’t have that much experience with silicone lube, but that is in large part because when I use lube it is usually in conjunction with toys. However, the from the times I have used it, it can be fun, with a really nice cushion!

For masturbation with a bio-dicks: Admittedly, this is no where NEAR my area of expertise, but I have done a lot of general research and I’ve heard good things about Gun Oil (it’s a silicone lube, so not with toys!) and Stroke 29 (an oil lube, so not with condoms or cunts.) Stroke 29 has intrigued me since I heard about it, apparently around the 29th stroke it completely changes texture. Hmmm, maybe I should find a boy to play with and use this? Regardless, this is where oil based lubes are actually viable, as they should never be used with condoms or with a cunt.

So when should you use lube? It can be helpful in all kinds of circumstances. Masturbation can be far more pleasant with the added slickness, regardless of any body type. Penetrative sex is much easier and more pleasant with lube, especially if it is either a dry-ish cunt or an ass being penetrated… then lube goes from being fun to being an important part of safe sex. With oral sex, lube can be a fun addition, from sensitizing the underside of a dental dam, to adding a fun flavor to a cock (silicone or bio.) Actually, putting just a little (and here little is important) on the inside tip of a condom can greatly increase the pleasure.

To recap:

• Amazon.com often has good lube for cheap. Investigate what you want to try, and then order from amazon and you can often get free shipping.
• The lubes you can buy at most drugstores are usually pretty terrible. There are FAR better ones out there, use those. If you don’t know what those are, ask helpful people (like me! or people at sex positive stores…)
• Silicone lube should never be used with either silicone toys or condoms/dental dams. Pay attention to your materials.
• Oil lube should never be used with latex ANYTHING (be it condoms, dams, or clothes) nor should it ever come near a cunt.
• Water based lube often have glycerine. Be careful.
• Experiment, figure out what you like… but most of all
• HAVE FUN!

Another GREAT resource to check out is from A Woman’s Touch, which is a fabulous sex positive store in WI. The have a wonderful brochure that covers all kinds of information, and their .pdf version has this fabulous table on it:

It covers even some of those more common, pretty terrible, lubes. Though, it is important to note that Astroglide has come out with a glycerine free lube. My own personal theory is that since Astroglide has been sponsoring Tristan Taormino, she convinced them to come out with a glycerine free lube.  Maybe not, but I’d like to think that about her.

Another quick thing, there has apparently been a study done that says that certain lubes may increase risk for  HIV/STI transmission. Charlie Glickman has a great response to this study. The study missed a LOT, and didn’t seem to in any way accurately compare what effects lube has compared to the tearing that happens when people don’t use lube for anal sex. So it is something to keep on the radar, but also not something to be particularly afraid of.

Regardless, I think I should leave with this quote from my friend Q, on my introducing her to new lubes, like Liquid Silk: “You are a life saver… I had amazing sex last night.”